Working With Snakes

Let's just start by saying that I HATE SNAKES. Seriously, I hate them. They creep me out, they smell, they like to squeeze, bite, and venomize stuff, and they remind me of Satan (see Genesis). Well, we have a customer up at Research Park at the U that collects venom from rattlesnakes to do something with brain tumors. Sounds interesting, right? Well, not when you're there! The only sounds I hear make my blood run cold...

Yeah. Just imagine having to work just inches away from those suckers! I don't care if they're in a plastic "Tupperware" bin or not, it freaks me out! Floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, rooms full of Mojave Reds making that horrible sounds wanting to bite my face off. Especially this one:

 

It is also worth noting that this little white board did not make me feel any better... In fact, it freaked me out even more! And what constitutes an "incident"?! A snakes sheds its skin or someone's finger gets bitten off?! Ugh. No thanks, man.

Chocolates

For Christmas, our secretary at work gave my boss and I each a bag of assorted chocolates. What a kind gift of Christmas cheer, right? Well, as it turned out, there were only 3 milk chocolate ones and the rest were dark chocolate... yeah, I'm not a big fan. So, I left them in the bag on my desk untouched.

Fast forward a few weeks and I came into my office and there's a second bag of chocolates sitting on my desk. It appeared to be opened, so I took a closer look... Just as I suspected! My boss had given me his bag under the guise of "I'm on a diet so I figured you could eat them instead." Liar. The milk chocolate ones were gone! All that was left were the darks! This meant war...

Between the two bags of chocolates, I had about 12 dark chocolates and I knew exactly what to do with them... I'd give them back. But I'd do it tactfully. One at a time. Yeah, I really enjoyed it!

If you're asking yourself right now if that's a chocolate in jell-o... yes, yes it is. And the best part is, I still have more of these stupid chocolates to give my boss! Which reminds me, I need to go mail him a "letter"...

Peep My Crew: Sam

So I've decided to do a little spotlight on some of my nearest and dearest, my Crew. I've asked each of them to tell a little about how they met me, some funny experiences, and I'll give a little insight on them as well. I've been really blessed in my life to be surrounded by great people who have helped me more than I could ever express, and they make it amazing to be me! So they deserve a shout out. Peep my Crew!

*****

This would be Sam, a.k.a. "Samwise Gamgee", a.k.a. "Samuel L. Blotter", a.k.a. "Raccoon". Sam was hired on at work to help out for a few months before going on his mission and he's just one of those straight-up good guys. What started out as hired help turned into quite the roller coaster of near-death experiences, knife fights, inside jokes, and a Yellowcard concert. Oh, and every once and a while we got some work done too. I probably subjected Sam to more of my "life lessons" than he ever cared to know about and I'm pretty sure he didn't believe half the things I said to him... (Probably a good idea.) Despite all that, we had many a great chat about life, girls, Church, and more. Also, this guy is a movie junkie and might be the only person who knows more movie lines than me. We crawled through attics, learned never to trust anyone named "Chuck", ate at about every Costa Vida along the Wasatch Front, and survived the infamous Beto's Breakfast Burrito! I watched him give his farewell talk and I gotta say, I'm gonna miss this guy. Ended up getting pretty attached to him after all... Nothing but love and respect for you, homie. You take care out there and enjoy your time in the Philippines. And don't make me come all the way out there to bury you in satin! Sharp knife, short life. Peace and love.

How long have you known me?
About 8 months all together I'd say.

How did we meet?
Work. I believe our first conversation was with Jeff. I said something offensive about how he wasn't married yet. :)

What's something funny that has happened between us?
Funny experience, eh? Hmm... "I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt!" or... "Didn't smell that one coming!" (alternate ending to Harry Potter we made up referencing Voldemort's nose, or lack thereof) or... "Occlumency. Look it up." or... the creepy 17 year old from Costa Vida in Pleasant Grove. (Good save, Arturo!) or... the Pizza Hut in Brigham City! or... killing the killer wasps at the storage units! or... "Give 'em the salt n' peppa!" or... "I feel... I feel... I feel happy of myself! I feel happy of yourself too!" :D I think that about does it.

What's your favorite memory we share?
Sharp knife = short life. After all, you know what they say...

Any words of wisdom?
If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river, at dawn, and send me away with the words of a love song. :D Be Strong, BELIEVE.

Best Day Of Work EVER 2!

So I have to preface this post with the following: Jeff and I once got paid for an entire day's worth of "work" to simply drive to Evenston, WY and buy illegal fireworks for our boss in the work van. He handed us his credit card with direct instructions to spend $350.00 at least. We just happened to find a fireworks stand that was "Buy 1, Get 1 Free" and so we ended of with over $350.00 worth of illegal fireworks ourselves as well... Thus, I call this "The Best Day of Work EVER 2!"

*****

I got a call at work one day from the VP of one of our suppliers. He asked me if I would be interested in taking his place at a "meeting" with one of their product partners. I said that I would, not really knowing what that would entail. He said: "Okay, cool. I'll send over the details to them and they'll contact you by email. Oh, you snowboard, right?" "Yeah, I do..." "Okay, great. Well, have a good time. I can't go and you're the first person I thought should go in my place." **CLICK** I received this email later that day:

Needless to say, I was pretty stoked. I forwarded the email to my boss to ask him if it was cool for me to basically have a day off. His response: "Yes, that's fine. That would be a great chance to talk to them about their products." Me: "You realize I'm SNOWBOARDING, right?" Boss: "Well, I'll pay you 8 hours, but I won't pay you to go to dinner." With that, I shut my mouth and left the room. :)

Yep, I had an awesome day! I was was paid to go snowboarding, eat lunch, and eat dinner for FREE. The slopes were awesome too. Most of the mountain was already open and it was such a beautiful day! It was seriously like riding in the spring. The guys at Prodata were way chill too, so we got along great. Such a blast. Like I said, best day of work EVER!!! (Well, best day of work EVER 2)

Wasp Wars

At work, Sam and I had a run in with a whole bunch of angry wasps while trying to install some cameras. After ducking for cover inside the van while the swarm hovered around us, we decided to take matters into our own hands...

Jimmered

I got "Jimmered" at work this week. I came back to the office after being out on calls all day to find my boss plastered a huge Jimmer poster on my whiteboard. As previously posted, I'm a Jimmer fan, but this doesn't change anything. I'm a Ute through and through. I thought my boss was too... until I've now discovered he receives BYU magazine. Traitor.

Work Pics

Why yes, this IS what I do at work almost all day... drive around in the work van with Jeff and eat mints and take glamour shots! (Sigh) What a great job...